My Testimony

It has been said “There is no testimony without tests”-Pastor Drane Jr

That statement could not be more true with the current trials and tests, I’ve went through over the past few years.

Growing up life was rather easy, didn’t have to struggle much or ask for much.

Things weren’t as ‘easy’ towards the end of High School entering into my Freshman  year at IU… After my 2nd year at IU, I performed lower academically than I expected and started to lose focus. I decided it would be best for me to transfer to somewhere I could do what I really wanted to & possibly have the chance of starting fresh away from it all…

I transferred to the Academy of Art University in San Francisco, in an attempt to pursue a life long dream of becoming a Fashion Designer.

A few months before I left, my mother was diagnosed with what the doctors called a ‘curable’ cervical cancer. She immediately received treatments of radiation and chemotherapy to cure her of this… After several treatments we were told that she had been completely cured of this cancer & that the likeliness of reoccurrence was very slim…

With this ‘confirmation’ I continued to my pursue my academic career in San Francisco… This experience was extremely different like non-other… I’ll explain my experience in San Fran at a later date… Come the end of my summer semester, I had the decision to stay in San Francisco and finish out my academic career there or to come back home and finish out there.

Thank God, I made the best decision of my life & decide to come back home… If I didn’t, I would have most likely missed what occurred next…

I decided to move back home with my folks and continue to school at the Art Institute of Indpls. My mother seemed to doing much better but I found out that her cancer had reoccured and spread to a different location in her body. As the months went on, the cancer proceedingly spread at an unstoppable pace…

As time progressed, she spent more time in the hospital and were eventually told that she would have approximately a ‘month’ to live. A ‘month’, come a few days later turned into ‘3 days’. She then went on to ascend into heaven on October 3, 2009.

I questioned God, more so now than ever at this time period… I really couldn’t understand of how a woman who devoted her entire life to becoming the ideal Christian Woman, would be taken so soon. There were many selfish thoughts that crossed my mind… But there was a deeper meaning into her passing of creating an awareness in our family, and into our lives; that it was indeed time to wake up & to fully live into the purposes that God has given us… Some in my family have taken heed to this sign some have not, some let this cancer divide and destroy family…

I didn’t realize that God was putting me through these life tests to condition me for survival. You know they say if you can deal & get through the passing of your mother than you can get through anything in life.

That’s pretty much they attitude I have in life now. God has delivered me from a situation that many would have been completely destroyed from. I thank God for providing me with inner intuition of coming home when I did, because if I didn’t I could have missed being there in her last days of living and if it wasn’t there I probably wouldn’t be able to live with myself…

I’m glad that God has given me insight & motivation to take a situation such as mine and to turn it into an energy/inspiration that will be unmatched by any. I wouldn’t trade my mother for anything in the world, but if she hadn’t have passed, I probably wouldn’t have the motivation that I currently have nor would all of the opportunities and blessings I’ve received have happened either.

People continue to ask me, how am I handling this situation so well and how am I able to keep it together… The answer is relatively simple, God has given me peace over her passing and I know that she is in a better place without suffering. Would I rather have her here, Yes… Suffering… No…

To those who are going through similar situations, know that God is ultimately the one in control. Whether you like his decisions or not they’re already made and cannot be changed. We have to learn how to take the situations we’re in and make the best of them.

I’m glad that I have the opportunity to see the positive, in what some might view as a negative situation. But without God, in my life none of this would be possible.

So if you don’t have a strong, personal relationship with God, I highly encouraged you to develop one because I truly would have never made it or continue to make it without him.

This take is 4 months after her passing. If you would like to read the real raw detailed story of what happened shortly after, you can read that here > RIHSharonRBuckner

I really hope that my story can encourage and motivate those who might be struggling with similar situations or to those who need an extra boost in life. Know that weeping may endure for a night, but joy will come in the morning, as long as you have God on your side.

Sean Julianno Buckner

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  • Comments (2)
    • julianno247
    • March 23rd, 2010

    Thank you! I am glad that I can help encourage anyone else, my sole purpose for posting.

    • Danielle
    • March 23rd, 2010

    It’s amazing how God speaks. Sometimes you don’t even realize that it was Him telling you which way to go until you actually see the outcome; that’s when you see it was all in His plan (to prosper you and to give you hope and a future.) I’m glad you posted this…it’s encouraging to me and I’m sure others feel the same. Continue to yield to His voice and be encouraged as you continue to live the life God has called you to lead and that would make your mother proud. 🙂

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